That Mommy Lady

Heartfelt Humor and Views on Modern Motherhood

This is the List That Doesn't End: Baby Crap I Regret Buying

Like most excited first time moms, when I had my baby girl, I only wanted the best of everything for her. I spent months decorating and furnishing a gorgeous nursery. I stocked it with the most luxurious and stylish baby bedding, tons of adorable clothing, and all the toys the parenting websites said were essential for her development. I spared no expense, and everything was perfect.

It was also a massive waste of money. That Pinterest worthy nursery? It might as well be a foreign country, because my daughter has never visited it, let alone spent a night in it. 

The pricey print I had to have because it perfectly matched the Parisian theme? Never even got hung up, because when your baby decides to arrive several weeks early, you realize that you do not in fact have plenty of time for the finishing touches. Oh, and that ruffled crib skirt I splurged for? It arrived in the mail a wrinkled mess, and if I don’t even bother to iron my clothing, there’s no way I’m going to iron that (as the packaging so helpfully suggested). 

This list could really go on and on.

Changing pad: why did I ever think I wouldn't be terrified to use this? I've used it as a cute background for pictures, but never for its intended purpose. Despite being strapped to the baby dresser and having a safety belt for her, it still seems like a death trap to me. So it's extra awesome that I bought several plush covers for it. 

Baby carriers: I have not one, not two, but THREE of these.  So far, my baby hates all of them. This may be in part because I can’t quite get the hang of them and insist on keeping my arms protectively wrapped around her, thus completely defeating the contraption’s purpose. Again, it just feels like a death trap (are you sensing a theme here?).

Sophie the Giraffe teether: The best thing I can say about this so far is that it's given me lots of laughs. Baby Em cannot quite fit Sophie’s knobby head in her mouth, so she ends up just repeatedly poking herself in the nose. She also hasn’t quite figured out that it’s not a rattle, so whenever she gets her hands on it she swings it around like a club. It makes her look like a baby cave man, and it’s hilarious.

If there's a silver lining to all the money I wasted here, it's that the next time I go to a baby shower… I’ve got the perfect (re-)gift ready to go.

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