That Mommy Lady

Heartfelt Humor and Views on Modern Motherhood

Here's Why I'm Probably Going to Own a Toddler Leash Someday

I worry about a lot of bad things that could happen to my kid, but being dragged around by a gorilla has never been one of them. Until I read this. A little boy visiting a Cincinnati zoo fell into its gorilla enclosure Saturday, where he was promptly snatched up and dragged around by a 400-pound ape. Zookeepers then shot and killed it.

Kids: they're why we can't have nice things. 

Just kidding. 

I shouldn't really joke about this, because it's horrible all around. I'm not sure who was more terrified: the kid (who is okay but hospitalized), his mother (who definitely just smashed her mom guilt personal record), or the gorilla (who was probably just like, "Oh, the humans will be so proud of me for taking care of this tiny person they misplaced! Hey, what are you doing with that gun?!").

Rather than get into who's to blame in this bizarre story (hint: everyone other than the gorilla), I'm just going to say that this is why I will have absolutely no qualms about putting my kid on a leash someday, or, to put it in cuddlier terms, in a "safety harness," if she needs one. I hope to raise a curious, energetic child who wants to explore everything around her, and that may inevitably mean that one day she's going to get a little carried away and run into traffic, or, in probably the most extreme scenario you could ever possibly think up, right into a gorilla enclosure. 

I know a lot of people tend to see kids hooked up to a harness and think "OMG TERRIBLE PARENT", but I see them and think "parent who cares more about their kid's safety than judgmental stares." While I am extremely confident that my child is never going to wind up in the clutches of a wild animal (knock wood), I also understand that most children are sneaky little bastards. And I won't be taking any chances.

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