That Mommy Lady

Heartfelt Humor and Views on Modern Motherhood

Motherhood Is...

Waiting all evening for your baby to go to sleep. Doing nothing but staring at pictures of them once they do.

Watching all your favorite shows in 5 minute chunks.

Taking fabulous, relaxing solo vacations... to Target for an hour.

Having your phone's autocorrect recognize and suggest the word "poopslosion".

Balancing your budget by spending hundreds of dollars on your kid's clothes, but tens of dollars on your own.

Waking up two hours earlier than you used to and still being late for work.

Being able to shower, dress, and "style" your hair in five minutes or less. 

Spot checking your outfit for poop or spit up stains every time you leave the house. 

Feeling guilty about anything and everything.

Secretly (or not so secretly) believing that your baby is a genius.

Secretly (or not so secretly) believing that your baby should be a model.

Keeping tabs on which friends liked the latest baby pics you posted online. Holding grudges against those who didn't.

Sneaking up to your baby's crib to watch them sleep. Panicking and running away the moment they begin to stir.

Having a living room that could be mistaken for a Babies'R'Us.

Spending a fortune on toys and clothes. Having your baby prefer to be naked and playing with their toes.

Feeling like the luckiest person in the world every single time your baby smiles at you.  

Please Stop Asking Me How the Baby is Sleeping

16 Suggested Comebacks for Obnoxious Questions About Having Babies